One Photo a Day ~ days 1 to 50

100 days from December 1st, Henry will have taken his first trip around the sun. Here’s to capturing 100 moments ~ the messy, the magical, and all that’s in between.

All photos taken by Kimberly Sullivan Chu

D a y ~ o n e ~ of 100

December 1, 2018

100 days from December 1st, Henry will have taken his first trip around the sun. Last year my goal was 100 (+) one second clips of my days with mama while waiting on Henry. This year I want to play with my camera and hopefully learn some storytelling techniques. Here’s to capturing 100 moments ~ the messy, the magical, and all that’s in between.

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Day ~ t w o ~ of 100

December 2, 2018

“Is that Tractor?”

I often wonder what the world looks like to her.

Though Tracker is his name, “Tractor” really does suit our big goofy hound rather well. Especially after he has made many attempts (and too many completed ones) at sharing her dinner. I wonder what Henry’s elephant looked like to her at this very moment.

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Day ~ t h r e e ~ of 100

December 3, 2018

Sitting down for dinner, she takes the flowers out of the glass and says, “and this is what I drink?” Flower infused water. Sounds absolutely delightful, doesn’t it?

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Day ~ f o u r ~ of 100

December 4, 2018

Looking up to Grandma.

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Day ~ f i v e ~ of 100

December 5, 2018

“And Kim, you’ll never have a Picks disease.”

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Day ~ s i x ~ of 100

December 6, 2018

This boy curls up everywhere - a sun spot in the kitchen, next to Henry’s crib, in chairs that I can’t figure out how he fits in. This morning he kept scratching at mom’s door, which he doesn’t normally do. Today all he wanted was to stay snuggled in her blankets. They always seem to know, don’t they?

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D a y ~ s e v e n ~ of 100

December 7, 2018

Henry, someday I’ll tell you about your first Christmas tree. The one that we loved the most because it felt a little “wilder” than the rest. When we got home you waved grandma, and grandma waived to the tree. And with a little imagination its branches looked like they could have been waving back. 🌲✨

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Day ~ e i g h t ~ of 100

December 8. 2018

Would you like some pie?

I don’t know. I don’t remember.

Oh, mama. Just. You. Wait.

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Day ~ n i n e ~ of 100

December 9, 2018

Baby’s first taste of snow. ❄️

Next time I’ll bring out the syrup. Mama’s tradition. Every snow day we drizzled art in the snow with chocolate syrup and maple syrup and then licked it up. South Carolina, thank you for this much wished for snow.

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Day ~ t e n ~ of 100

December 10, 2018

I never noticed that paper clip on their ornament before. There is always one ornament missing that little hook, isn’t there? You search for an extra and you can never find one so you scrounge up ribbon, a rubber band, or a Christmas red paper clip. I wonder which year it became part of the tree and who bent it into place. You never know, maybe it will be that Christmas red paper clip that will help her remember.

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Day ~ e l e v e n ~ of 100

December 11, 2018

“And you’re so good with Kim.”

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Day ~ t w e l v e ~ of 100

December 12. 2018

Brave like ✨you✨

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Day ~ t h i r t e e n ~ of 100

December 13, 2018

Between shampoo and conditioner, the shower curtain ripped back and there she was, with a golden smile. “Oh, good to see you!” she said, as if she had been missing me for quite some time. And there we stood smiling at each other like we hadn’t just spent the whole day side by side.

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Day ~ f o u r t e e n ~ of 100

December 14, 2018

This morning Henry was waving to his shadow and just a few weeks ago mama was waving to hers, asking, “who is she?” I love discovering with these two. Soon we may try to Peter Pan it and stick our shadows on with soap.

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Day ~ f i f t e e n ~ of 100

December 15, 2018

Sea breeze, sandy toes, and seashell treasures to nourish the soul. 🌊🌊🌊

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Day ~ s i x t e e n ~ of 100

December 16, 2018

Henry, besides The Beatles, cherry pie, and Christmas lights, one way that you will know your grandpa (my papa 🐻) is through those ocean waves that he loved so much. And your grandma? Here is what is so beautiful about her. I wouldn’t say she couldn’t live without the ocean like my dad. Or mountains, October trees, or pumpkins, like me. I’m honestly not sure what delighted her more than anything (maybe blueberry picking) because she always loved what we loved, the most.

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Day ~ s e v e n t e e n ~ of 100

December 17, 2018

One of my favorite moments throughout the day. It’s the way she confidently swishes the towel. So familiar. So sure.

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Day ~ e i g h t e e n ~ of 100

December 18, 2018

I can’t find my bedroom. Where did you put it?

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(I turn on the light for her.)

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Oh, here it is! Thank you!

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...and it just so happens that Henry has just discovered (and can’t get enough of) light switches.

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Day ~ n i n e t e e n ~ of 100

December 19, 2018

Just to be near you.

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ of 100

December 20, 2018

My very own Gene Kelly, declaring there are, “waters!” Just as she she calls it ☔️ She asks again and again when he will be home. The moment he walks in he door she is the first to say, “and I’m glad you got here!” These two are as sunny as can be ☀️

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ o n e ~ of 100

December 21. 2018

It always makes me smile when she asks, “Where is your little boy? And Tractor?”

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ t w o ~ of 100

December 22, 2018

Mama, let’s go back to bed.

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But I thought I should be with you.

(she points outside to my car)

I wanted to go with you. In the bed. 🚘

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Her words may get mixed up. But her heart, never. 💛

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ t h r e e ~ of 100

December 23, 2018

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember; and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts...”

~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

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Oranges for rememberance🍊🍊🍊We always found a tangerine in the toe of our stocking, and it was treasured just as much as all the trinkets that were stacked on top of it. Oranges have always smelled like Christmas to me.

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ f o u r ~ of 100

December 24, 2018

Crawling into Christmas with hopeful hearts and some pretty swell suspenders. “And good you got him!” she said, bending down to pick a bit of something off of his pants. Then she walked to the trash can and said, “good I got this off Kim‘s little boy.”

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Wishing you the brightest eyes to see even the littlest of merry moments this holiday. It’s when you start really looking for them that they find you. That’s what she taught me today. It’s part of the magic of Christmas, I think. ✨

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Day ~ t w e n t y ~ f i v e ~ of 100

December 25, 2018

“I’m not good,” she said grabbing my arm as I was rushing about the kitchen, a cranberry splattered spoon in one hand and a baby bib in the other. She couldn’t have been further away from Christmas, but think she could feel it. The energy was different. Maybe she had tastes of remembrance ~ the purple eggplant hat, orange iced cinnamon buns, of losing her love on Christmas Day, six years ago. There she was sitting in the middle of it, her chair just feet from the stove so she could watch the clock. A comfort in all the hustle and bustle.

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I wanted to say that she was radiant. That if there was a word more meaningful than love, she would be it. But not many words reach her anymore. “Let’s call Paul,” I was grasping for something to lift her heart and I knew the little guy in the purple eggplant hat from 25 years ago would do it. “My Paul,” she smiled.

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“My Paul.” If love could speak that it is how it would sound. There she was. Glowing with the light of Christmas, for her son.

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I recently found her holiday card from my brother’s first Christmas and I ran to a box in the closet where I have a few Halloween costumes saved that she had made. I knew it looked familiar. There was the little purple hat stuffed in the folds of my “butterfly princess” wings that she had sewn. Baby’s eggplant hat found its second Christmas. 🍆 🎄✨

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D a y ~ t w e n t y ~ s i x ~ of 100

January 1, 2019

Whatever this year may bring, I hope to embrace it with this just as much gusto, determination, and wonder as this little fella here. Greeting 2019 with tremendous gratitude for all that made life so sweet in 2018. Especially this hat, I mean, baby ...watching my ❤️ become an incredible papa, days with mama, beautiful family and friends, and much more. Oh so much more. Wishing you and yours a very hopeful start to the year!

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D a y ~ t w e n t y ~ s e v e n ~ of 100

January 6, 2019

“And Kevin, it’s January now,” I heard her whisper to his picture in her room. I had just told her that it was January, and she paused. “What’s January?” This was last year’s beginning.

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“Mama, it’s January.” I waited. This year is already so much quieter.

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And then she started dancing.

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January is a dance, isn’t it? Dancing for all that grew our hearts the year before. Dancing to lift the weight of what holds us down. Dancing new light in.

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Dancing for you, Mama. Dancing for me.

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D a y ~ t w e n t y ~ e i g h t ~ of 100

January 7, 2019

We found our very own kitchen elf today.

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D a y ~ t w e n t y ~ n i n e ~ of 100

January 8, 2019

Just a few pages ago, every word is crisply circled. Not a single word is left to be found. Not one line out of place. A daily routine that she has perfected, even though the meaning behind the words is missing.

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Today’s has letters circled - an “X,” and “C,” and, “TY.” A few words found. Most untouched.

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And then she has circled, “HOPES.”

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There it is. There she is. Glimmering through. And you know, maybe this word hasn’t lost its meaning. Maybe it is still there. I have to believe it is. After all, Emily Dickinson says so.

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Hope is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

~ Emily Dickinson

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ of 100

January, 9 2019

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Scoot, scoot, scoot, to sit as close to grandma as possible. 💛💛💛

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ o n e ~ of 100

January 10, 2019

“And good when I was with my Kevin, we knew what we could eat.”

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So tonight when she sat down with chocolate popcorn for dinner, I said, “thank you, mama.” And left her soup to get cold.

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Because sometimes it’s about hearing her say, “this is so good,” with a smile sweeter than all the moose chocolate there ever was.

D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ t w o ~ of 100

January 11, 2019

I couldn’t make out what she was saying to him ~ ABBA’s “shining like the sun, smiling having fun, feeling like a number one,” was sunny-ing up the kitchen and adding flair to our afternoon. 🎶 I came back with his water cup to find his spoon in my coffee, my mug on his tray. “Good that’s for him,” she said.

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I couldn’t bring myself to drink that cup right away. It was too special. I’ll just warm it up for him in a few years ☺️

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ t h r e e ~ of 100

January 12, 2019

“Is that your little boy?” she asks.

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In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. ~ Francis Bacon

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Her light shines ever so ✨bright✨. These patches come and they go...

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And tomorrow is a ☀️ new ☀️ day.

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ f o u r ~ of 100

January 13, 2019

An Afternoon Farce ~ Footsteps. Door opening. Door slam. Baby. She’s running down the stairs. Rips the blanket off me, “Oh, here you are! And your little boy, up there!”

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Yes. My-now-very-awake-little-boy-who-finally-fell-asleep-little-boy-who-really-desperately-needed-a-very-long-nap-little-boy. 😂

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“He talks a lot.”

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My little boy. 😂 Talking a whole lot for sure. Thank you for this ☀️new☀️ day, mama. And the laughs for sure.

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ f i v e ~ of 100

January 14, 2019

A sweater sharing kind of day.

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ s i x ~ of 100

January 15, 2019

H is for Henry.

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ s e v e n ~ of 100

January 16, 2019

"“But my darling, there’s no such thing as the light at the end of the tunnel, you must realize that you are the light.” ~Anonymous

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Chasing your ✨light✨ behind this 📷 is helping me find the bits of light I was missing before. And it’s helping me find mine, too. Thank you, mama.

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I made it into this one. Well, my shadow did. Can you spot me? ☝️

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ e i g h t ~ of 100

January 17, 2019

In honor of Mary Oliver’s passing today.

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“I saw that worrying had come to nothing and gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.” ~ Mary Oliver

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Thank you for your words, Mary Oliver. I have looked to them a lot lately ~ when my heart is heavy and when my soul is full. You were, and forever will be, so cherished. I hope by this little guy one day too. 🌈

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D a y ~ t h i r t y ~ n i n e ~ of 100

January 18, 2019

“Seven cards of one color” has never looked so bright. ❤️💛💚💙

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“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for.” ~ Georgia O’Keeff

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There were not many words today, but she added in more color. 😌

D a y ~ f o r t y ~ of 100

January 19, 2019

My lunch bunch.

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ o n e ~ of 100

January 21, 2019

All 🐾 on deck kind of day. Sometimes you just have to roll with it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ t w o ~ of 100

January 21, 2019

Warm hues of lavender and roses ~ drawers of wildflowers.

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I must have been channeling a bit of Marie Kondo and only keeping what “sparked joy” of wildflowers when simplifying mama’s closet. So when sweaters become pants and shirts are inside out, backwards, and layered thick, all that matters is that she is wrapped in petals of soft pink and lilac. 🌷

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You belong among the wildflowers

You belong somewhere close to me

Far away from your trouble and worries

You belong somewhere you feel free

~ Tom Petty, Wildflowers

D a y ~ f o r t y ~ t h r e e ~ of 100

January 22, 2019

When I found this beautiful book, I knew that really it found me. For the days that she is all too aware that she is traveling further and further away. For the days when she is caught somewhere between. For the “I’m not good,” and the “I used to be good,” days. For you, mama. For Henry. For me.

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“And you belong right here, where you’re home, and where I hold you close.

Of all the wonders I’ve ever known you’re the one I love the most.”

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“You are a dream that the world once dreamt and now you are part of its song.

That’s why you are here, in the place where you’re meant, for this is right where you belong.”

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“And no matter what places you travel to, what wonders you choose to see,

I will always belong right here with you, and you’ll always be long with me.”

~ You Belong Here by M.H. Clark

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ f o u r ~ of 100

January 23, 2019

“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Baby’s first walk with Grandma.

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An imperfect photo, I’m not fast enough with the settings yet 📸, but it’s the most perfect to me. I hope those 60 seconds were just as perfect for her, too.

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“Did she say his name? Or hold him?” Shu was excited to hear what I was so over the moon about. No, not yet. But she might. I never thought she would take him for an afternoon stroll either. 😊

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ f i v e ~ of 100

January 24, 2019

Mama, I wish you could see what I see.

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I’ll keep telling you, and I’ll keep showing you, and I’ll remember for you ~ how good you were, and how astonishing you are now.

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ s i x ~ of 100

January 25, 2019

“The day will be what you make it, so rise like the sun, and burn.” ~ William C. Hannan

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ s e v e n ~ of 100

January 26, 2019

Saturdays are for sisters. 💕

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ e i g h t ~ of 100

January 27, 2019

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

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The way he looks at her. Just love. He doesn’t know what used to be. It’s not the “long goodbye” for him. It’s just hello.

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D a y ~ f o r t y ~ n i n e ~ of 100

January 28, 2019

“Is it Monday A? Or Monday B?” I love how he wants to know where the sun and the moon are in our day.

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“Monday A” is our first complete day. Then sometime during that golden light hour we say goodnight and a few hours later begin a new day ~ “Monday B.”

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A second day chance,

before the sun slips away.

All the while the moon smiles

at its special appearance during the day. ☀️ 🌝

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D a y ~ f i f t y ~ of 100

January 29, 2019

“When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”

~ Alice in Wonderland

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